How to Learn Anger Management in 15 Life-changing, Easy steps – Part 4

How can I release or express my anger in a Positive fashion?

Positive Expressions of Anger

Anger Management is learning to release or express your Anger in POSITIVE ways instead of NEGATIVE ways.  


Supportive-talk-AM3b-4 (2)As I mentioned, many of our automatic responses to anger tend to be negative. There are two reasons for this. The first explanation has to do with the survival instinct of Fight and Flight. Anger often triggers this aggressive, adrenaline rush reaction. Therefore, it stimulates our desire to Fight (yelling or getting physical) or Flight (shutting down, running away, avoidance, or pretending it never happened). Human beings are creatures of habit so how we express being MAD becomes a habit or a routine. Back when we were children, we found ways to relieve our anger. Because children don’t have the ability to use higher logic or fully to understand the long-term consequences of their actions, most children resort to negative expressions of anger. When we respond the same way over and over again, it becomes deeply embedded into our personality. It becomes a Powerful habit but not a well thought out anger response.


Consequently, if you have come to the realization that many of your anger responses are negative and are having a detrimental impact on your well-being, happiness, and success; it is time to change. But changing will require a lot of hard work on your part. You will need to make a committed and conscientious choice every time you get angry to release and express that anger in positive rather than negative ways. It will mean breaking old habits and trying to build new and healthy reactions. At first, it will feel unnatural and uncomfortable. You may find that the positive reactions take more work and are not as immediately gratifying. Let’s face it when we are really angry…..hitting something or yelling profanities helps us let off some steam. The problem is that the long term effects can get us into trouble at school, work or in our relationships. Thus, the need for change.


live-511556_1280What are positive ways of expressing anger? The first thing you need to know is that it is not good to stuff your anger. It is very important to release or express your temper so that it does not build up inside. Positive expressions of anger are anything that does NOT hurt yourself, someone else or important property. I will give you a list of idea’s for releasing your anger, and I will divide it into things you can immediately do and other ways that may have to be done later when you have the time.


As you read this list, please realize that there is no magical thing you can do that will make your anger disappear instantly. You will need to develop a variety of tools that work best for you.

If you continue reading on my website, Overcoming Anger, Part 4 B will give you a list of Positive ways of expressing or releasing your anger that you can try right away.

If you want to change your negative anger habits but are having trouble changing; a competent professional counselor can be helpful, or you can book a conversation with Vicki at or read the rest of my 8 part series.

If you would like to check into books on this subject, there is “Dance of Anger” by Harriet Lerner, The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans, Talking Doll by Disney on Amazon, or CD: “Relax, Unwind & Sleep.”