How do I learn my anger triggers so I can have more control over them?
Internal Anger Ball
Understanding the complex ingredients to your anger will help you learn how to control it better. Inside of all of us, we have what I will label here as our Anger Ball.
Your Anger Ball is strongly imprinted memories of anger issues that you have never resolved and therefore are still carrying around inside your subconscious self. To make this concept simple, let’s call it your “Old Anger.” All of us have had things happen in life that has made us very angry. If we do not find positive ways to resolve or release this anger, we continue to carry it within us.
Many of us envision that we can run from our troubles. But you can move to China and the issues you have will still be in your mind and your heart. Consequently, we all must work through our issues to be able to let them go so they do not continue to affect our life. Hence, you must get in touch with unresolved anger issues so that they can be worked through and released. First, I recommend that you must determine the size of your anger ball. If you have had a pretty happy life or if you are the type of personality where you can let a lot of things roll off your back…then your anger ball is fairly small. If your life has been hard and unfair, people have mistreated you a lot along the way, or if you are the type of personality that finds it hard to let go when someone has angered you, then you may have a fairly large anger ball. Unfortunately, I am in the latter of the two categories, so my anger was as deep as the Grand Canyon. That is why I have worked long and hard to understand my anger, teach anger management and control my temper. Think about how much anger you have inside. If you were to give a number from 1 (very little anger) to 100 (busting full of anger) to your feelings of anger….what would your temper number be? If it is a large number, you need to work on getting rid of these old anger issues. As an illustration, picture a beach ball being held under water…it would always be struggling to “POP” to the surface. Our anger bubble is the same. When you hold a lot of anger inside, it always wants to burst out. Anger just busting out at a moment’s notice is very self-destructive and causes the need to get a good handle on your issues and triggers.
Find your Triggers to your inner Anger Issues:
This ANGER BALL has triggers or buttons on it. When a trigger gets pulled, the anger explodes out. What is an Anger trigger or button? A trigger is anything that happens in the present that is similar to the anger issue from the past. It will set out an unconscious signal. You can tell when a button has been pressed because you start feeling just a little anger, and suddenly you are ready to explode. When this change occurs, chances are a trigger has been pulled. You are not only angry about what is happening in the present, but your old anger has compounded the feeling. Unusual anger is also-also a good way of recognizing when someone else’s anger button has been pushed. If their anger is way out of proportion to the situation….old anger has been released. It is time for you to define your Troublesome Anger Triggers. Check out next week’s blog for more Essential answers.
If you would like to check into books on this subject, there is “Honor Your Anger” by Beverly Engel or CD: “Relax, Unwind & Sleep.”