Define your Values, Focus your Life! Part 3

Do you know your Values?

girl tatooIn article 2, I gave you a list of basic values. I requested that you go through the list and cross out values that were not a high priority and circle the values that resonate with your soul. Let’s continue our process in value definition and how it can help you create a happier and healthier lifestyle.

How do I define my Values?
To discover what is meaningful to you, rethink your past. Identify times you were really happy, proud, felt deep accomplishment or inner satisfaction. Then diagnosis  (determine) what was at the core of those situations that made you feel like that. This will be a compass to your core values.
Next, I will supply you with a basic list of values. There was a basic list in article 2 and my next posting will contain a very detailed list from which to choose. I would like you to read through this list and discover your top 5 Values. To do this, start by crossing off ones you know just aren’t you. Circle the ones that resonate within. Realize that there is something about each of them you may like but you are choosing the ones that are most important to you.

Here is the main points of this process:

Name your top 5 Values:

Why are they important to you?

Explain what they mean to you?


Tips for Choosing your top Values:
If you are having trouble choosing your top 5, let me give you some tips from my own process. I would cross out Forgiveness right away. Not because I don’t believe in forgiveness but Justice means more to me. But Justice would not make my top 5. Since I pray all day long and have meaningful talks with God, Spirituality would make my top 5. Wisdom would not make the cut even though I am a lifelong learner and a constant reader. However, since I can only have 5 choices, it would not make the top of the list. On the other hand, Family would. I have never chosen career or money over family. That is because, at the core, I am a nester. I married someone who would take those values on. Let’s take a look at another illustration… somebody who is a soldier or a spy may value cunningness because that it is what it will take for them to survive. I had a friend who always wanted to be in the limelight or the Big Cheese. This served him well until he also became a High-roller and gambled away everything. What you value within your authentic self may be a strength but can also lead you astray. That is why you should be aware of it working within you so you can course correct when it is taking you awry. With these examples, can you understand the process of identifying your Top 5 Values?


How can I use my Top 5 Values?
girl-842719_1920Now that you have identified your Top Values, you can use them as knowledgeable tools to discover inner empowerment, life goals and a fulfilling direction in life. As Dogan would say, “To be enlightened is to be intimate with all things”, (Zen and the Art of Happiness by Chris Prentiss). Let this illumination be a grounding force in your life. Now that you have defined your top 5 values; use them as your compass in life and let them help you steer yourself in the right direction each time you make a major decision. Allow your inner core be your guide. Fear and Anxiety can cloud your judgement of the future but knowing your true inner self will clear your vision and point you in the right direction Thus, you align with your inner core and have the inside track to happiness.

Written by Vicki Langemo, MA, LPC   For more articles, go to

If you would like to read more books on values, check out…. “The Value Factor” by Dr. John F. Demartini;Discovering your authentic Core Values” by Marc Alan Schelske: “From Values to Action” by Harry M. Kraemer  or “Teaching your Children Values” by Richard Eyre and Linda Eyre.