- Find someone you really enjoy spending time with on a daily basis. Do you like talking to your partner while having dinner, shopping, driving in the car, or doing chores? If you take the romance out of the equation – do you have fun with this person? The answer has to be yes.
- Know yourself in concrete terms. Your partner needs to get to know the real you. The only way you can let your partner know who you are is to know yourself. An excellent way for both people to discover their inner selves in a concrete way is to define their personality strengths, top 5 values, top 5 priorities, and completing the self-discovery questionnaire found at supportivetalk.com (Under Personal Growth).
- Know the top 5 traits you want in a partner. To look through a list of primary personality traits go to ideonomy.mit/edu/essays/traits.html. As someone who has been married for over 38 years, my PRIMARY suggestion would be to find someone who is willing to talk through and resolve issues in a respectful manner.
- Learn how your primitive brain plays a role in your mate selection. We tend to be attracted to what we know. Make sure your partner has the characteristics you really want in a mate rather than someone who has familiar traits. The very best source I have found to understand this concept is to read “Getting the Love You Want” by Harville Hendrix.
- Develop positive communication skills and win/win solutions. Both of these skills help partners find a solution to their issues that respect the wants and needs of both sides. A top study on relationships just cited Communication as the most important skill in a relationship. To learn details on these skills check out supportivetalk.com. (Under Relationships)
- Practice and become comfortable utilising these skills before marriage. Issues causing hidden resentments is the number one downfall of a successful long-term marriage. In a new relationship, we tend to downplay the things that bother us in a relationship. It is important to tackle them head on and resolve them to the satisfaction of both partners. Your relationship will be Healthy and Happy if you do this all along the way.
Relationships take a lot of work. If you want a happy marriage, you need to put in the same amount of effort as you would be successful in your career, sport, or hobby. Using these tips will help build a healthy and happy relationship. If you would like some help, you can book a chat with Vicki at www.supportivetalk.com.