Be an amazing parent!
Rules should be Clear, Consistent & Concrete Part 2
Tips for Rules:
- Have main rules written out and basic consequences outlined.
- Try to make your rules clear, so that child/ teens are making a conscious choice to follow them or not follow them. Make a point to say this if they have broken rule. Example: You will not get paid your allowance this week because you chose not to wash the dishes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. You also did not clean your room on Saturday morning. If you wish to get your allowance next week, you will need to choose to do all your chores. Take the burden of the consequence off your shoulders and put it squarely on their choice for not following the rules. This teaches
- The best discipline is consistent. Studies have shown that strict or lenient is not as important as consistency. Inconsistency…makes young people think they have a chance to get away with it, so they are more likely to do it. Try not to follow your whims. Rules should be well thought out decisions. Give yourself time to think if they take you by surprise. Example:”‘I am not sure of the best way to handle this problem. I am going to think about this bad behavior/ situation for a little while. I need to come up with the best or most appropriate way to handle this situation.’” When you have thought of something sensible, then you can outline the rule and enforce the consequence. Example: I found out my child took some money from me. I took a couple of days to think of a reasonable solution. I came up with: “If you take money from me, I will have you pay me back; times 3. 1st time to replace the actual money, 2nd time for stealing it and 3rd time for a lie of omission. If you take $5.00, you will pay me back $15.00. Another illustration: when my children were teens, they began to ask me about my personal sex life. I took a few days and then told them that I would talk about Love, Relationships or facts about sex, but I would not talk about the details of my personal sex life because I felt it was inappropriate.
This article has outlined a few more Valuable Parenting Tips for rules for children. Guidelines should always be Clear, Consistent & Concrete. Then your child will know before they make a choice what is the correct behavior or what would be improper. Thus, if they choose to disobey the rules, they are responsible for the outcome. This is a key tip for parents. Remind your child frequently that they are responsible for their actions! You will be teaching your child that they have control over many things including their behavior. It is empowering for them! They also develop a sense of security because they know the limits of their behavior and understand what will happen if they make a different choice. Always remember that you are coming from a loving place, teaching them positive behavior traits. You are also instructing them in important values and beliefs. That makes you an amazing parent!
Some other parenting resources would be The Power of Positive Parenting: A Wonderful way to Raise Children by Glenn Latham and Sidney W. Bijou. Positive Parenting in Action by Laura Ling and Rebecca Earnes. For more Valuable Quick Parenting Tips go to www.supportivetalk.com. You can also choose to book a conversation to discuss your parenting or child discipline woes.