Be an amazing parent:

Creating a Close Relationships

Spend regular time with your child/ teen in a variety of activities. Games, school events, discussions in the car, a family dinner, a favorite past time.

Make it comfortable for them to talk to you. (Try not to judge, just sometimes listen without advice, ask their opinion). Listen to what they have to say. Comment on their opinion’s or do something that shows you were listening. Example: “I remember you said that you like Adele’s songs, have you heard her latest song? I know Game of Thrones is your favorite TV show. Do you think John Snow is really gone? , is Jeanie, your best friend? Or do you prefer wearing Nike over Adidas tennis shoes?” Just simple questions show you care to get to know the real person.

Children and Teens like order in their lives even if they are very disorganized or disorderly. Routines can teach children what to expect and therefore, gives a sense of security and stability. Example: keep regular meal times, have a bedtime, set rules, and set activities. Remember, if you need to change the schedule, please tell them about it ahead of time. If it is a last minute change, tell them you are sorry, and explain what happened to change things.

Help make your Teen/Child feel safe. Let your child know they can come and talk to you if ever they are feeling scared and uncomfortable. If they are afraid to tell you something, have a code word so you will know not to get upset. Instead, you will make them feel comfortable for sharing with you. Take steps to make them feel safe. Example: Locks on home doors, alarm systems, what you will do if they feel threatened. Try not to scream or swear, this behavior raises most people’s anxiety. Find other ways to relieve your stress in healthy ways so you do not take a tough day out on your kids. Example: exercise or close your eyes and relax before coming into the house. Plan some activities that are without children to destress.

 Do activities that your child/teen likes to do. (Bing Crosby would force his eldest son to go camping and fishing with him even though this child continued to dislike it). Do simple things together, family meals, read, TV, movies, games, going for a walk, or chores. What kids want the most is your time and attention. If children do not get your attention, they may try bad behavior to get noticed. Human beings tend to go for any attention rather than getting no attention.

Tell them you love/care about them on a regular basis. Say, “I love you, You are special. I care about how you feel, or You are important to me”.

Touch is important. Give them kisses on the cheek, friendly hugs, hold hands or a tap on the arm or shoulder.

Make sure you give them more compliments than criticisms. (Make them sincere). Try to give out double the amount of compliments vs. criticisms. For example: point out if they made their bed, got a good grade, picked up after themselves, look good, or did something else that is positive.

.Build their self-esteem and self-confidence. You can do this by complimenting them sincerely. Also, if they become good at an activity, hobby or sport, it will build up a positive belief in one’s self. Make a point of saying when they do something well. Example: Each night as I put my children to bed, I told them they were loved and special.

Some other parenting resources would be The Power of Positive Parenting: A Wonderful way to Raise Children by Glenn Latham and Sidney W. Bijou. Positive Parenting in Action by Laura Ling and Rebecca Earnes. For more Valuable Quick Parenting Tips go to www.supportivetalk.com. You can also choose to book a conversation to discuss your parenting or child discipline woes.