Conflict Resolution Skills

Vicki-L-AConflict Resolution is working out differences in a positive, respectful and constructive way.

  1. Agree to try and solve the problem.
  2. Agree not to interrupt.
  3. Agree to not name call, swear, and use put-downs or unkind words.
  4. Agree to stay respectful.
  5. Agree to talk about how you felt (not blaming words).
  6. Agree to tell the truth.
  7.  Now, Identify the specific conflict. (only talk about one issue at a time….try not to become sidetracked by other issues)
  8. Tell what happened to you. ( Your side, opinions, perspective)
  9. Listen to the other person tell their side without interruption.
  10. Say what you could do to help solve the problem.
  11.  Allow the other person to say what they are willing to do to solve the problem.
  12.  Each person tells how he or she will handle the problem differently in the future.( explore Solutions, options, common ground, throw out idea’s, keep altering solution until both sides feel it would work for each other)
  13.  Each person states what he or she needs to feel the conflict is resolved.
  14.  Each person stated what he or she would be willing to do for the other person to resolve the problem.
  15.  Evaluate the solutions. Decide which solution works best and benefits both people. Find Win/Win solutions.
  16.  Both people agree to what needs to be done so the problem will be solved and they follow through with their part.
  17.  Both people agree the problem is resolved.
  18.  Put the new solution into Action. Did it work for both? If yes….you have solved your problem. If not, you will need to alter the solution until it works.
  19.  Praise, Praise, Praise yourselves for finding healthy and positive solutions to your conflicts and arguments. This is an awesome skill to develop. It will help in all aspects of your life.


(Written by Vicki Langemo, 1999, to be used only for Langemo Support Groups and Counseling Conversations)  ​